Monday, November 16, 2009

Sachin - To be or not to be


Well after a lot of contemplation about what i should write next on, i settled for something that is unique yet fresh in every one's mind. The Occassion : "Sachin Ramesh Tendulkar aka SRT completes 20 years in international cricket".

If you have been going through the papers and news channels over the past week, then i am sure you have not missed the hype and hooplah over SRT completing his 20 years in cricket. I am not sure if another cricketer (mortal to be specific) will get such coverage even after his retirement. Dont be surprised if you get an additional newspaper ( SACHIN TIMES or THE TIMES OF SACHIN or SACHIN EXPRESS ) along with your daily subscription for one month after he retires from the game.[:P]

This post of mine is not in anyway meant to undermine the dedication with which SRT ( GOD to be specific ) has served our nation. Infact I am one of his ardent followers who will never take any criticism against him lying down.
However this post is meant to be taken in a lighter vein. Have you ever imagined what life would be in SRT's shoes? Well that is what i am trying to decode. Lets look at the the positives and negatives of being SRT in India ( Humorously i mean)

First, the advantages of being SRT.

1.) You can import a Ferrari gifted by Michael Schumacher and still evade the 1.5 crores import duty.

2.) You can date & marry a girl 5.5 years older than you without your parents even once disapproving of your choice.

3.) You can be rest assured that any statement made by you will not be met with disapproval. Wow life rocks so far!!

4.) If an umpire gives you a bad decision that might well be the end of his umpiring career.

5.) Important dates like 24th April (date of birth) and 15th November ( Debut in cricket) will be celebrated as national holidays.

6.) Even if you tamper with the ball or appear to be tampering with it , the match referee will be handed a 3 match ban.

7.) You can keep playing the game till you desire and more importantly till you have ensured that a chap named Ricky Ponting is nowhere close to catching up with your records. The BCCI will obviously oblige. (as if there was ever a doubt about it!!).

8.) If you are not inducted in ICC's hall of fame, then there will be 4-5 lawyers willing to sue the ICC on your behalf without charging you a penny.Lols.

9.) You will be referred to as GOD all the time and worshipped along with Lord Shiva on India - Pakistan match day.

10.) When you retire from the game all cricket playing countries and IPL franchises will want you as their batting consultant. So you are assured of a pension even after earning billions!

11.) A score of 45 which includes 5 boundaries and 2 sixes will fetch you a man of the match award when another player has scored 75 not out! Reason?? Well by now i am sure you dont need a reason. Do you?


Its time for disadvantages now.

1.) If you plan to catch up on the latest blockbuster, then you might as well have to book your flight tickets to London, coz you are sure to be mobbed at ,in Indian theatres.

2.) Your kids cant lead a normal childhood which includes : playing in the park , taking a stroll with you at Juhu , buying them Ice creams from the roadside seller. Sad indeed.

3.) At your children's annual day function other parents and their children will be more interested in looking at you than at their kids performance on the stage.

4.) You cannot think of holidaying in India. Thus your kids may not know where Juhu beach, Marine Drive , Ooty , Rock Garden or Gateway Of India are but they are sure to know where Times Square , Madame Tussauds , Disneyland and Niagara falls are! Disadvantage ? Really? Lucky kids actually. [:P]

5.) One bad performance on the field and the TV channels will find faults in your technique and temperament. Warning - You might contemplate retirement.

6.) If your son decides to follow in your footsteps, then God help him. Poor soul will face the humongous task of being compared to you at every step and he might suffer from a nervous breakdown.

7.) You have to give TV interviews to all news channels once you complete 10,11,12....20,21,22,23.... years in cricket with the same enthusiasm with which you made your debut in 1989. This can get boring.


SACH is life in SRT's shoes. Would you like to wear those shoes?